Stop talking, start solving

Don’t mistake talking about problems for solving them.

The world is full of problems: health issues, financial difficulties, relationship challenges, demanding education, high job expectations—not to forget the weather. And they pile up constantly. Isn’t there always several things that don’t go right?

Well, yes, you are absolutely right. That is your current focus, the current way you look at your world. It is the mindset you learned and practiced over many years and decades.

However, talking about problems is, well, just talking—and nothing more. It gives false relief. You think you've talked it out. But the relief isn't sustainable if you don't work on solving the problem so it will be gone in the future.

Mere talking, especially when done repeatedly, leads to rumination. You remain in your thinking spiral, and with each repetition, it will become harder to escape and think differently. It creates and enforces a negative perception of your situation and the world.

So how to get out?

If you are used to talking about problems a lot, start by admitting that you do.

Observe yourself in different situations and reflect on whether you feel great when purely talking about negative topics. And if you feel relief, how long does it last?

You might recognize that there is no real benefit for you in the long run. This gives you the opportunity to stop the behavior.

The second step is to interrupt your habits. Talking about problems might be deeply ingrained in your daily behavior. It is just part of what you do. But you don’t have to. You can stop yourself. In some cases it will be easy; in others, it will take practice. You will get there by being mindful about it.

In a third step, the intention is to replace the former behavior with something more sustainable. There might be a problem, and if so, we should recognize and accept it. The time between recognizing and solving, however, can be very short. This means that we can train our mind to perceive, understand, and then focus on the next possible steps. Steps towards a solution or maybe even immediate relief.

This is a different way of thinking. There are at least two connected benefits. First, we will move forward much faster and won't get stuck in a draining situation. Second, our general mood is neutral to positive, enabling our brain to find better solutions.

In the long run, if we practice solution-oriented thinking regularly, we will find more contentment in life, and the world will respond positively to our new mindset and approach.

Give it a try—there is nothing to lose.